How could he possibly make love?

Each time I see an obese person, my immediate thought is, “How could he possibly make love?”

I admit this is rather an odd question to ask myself. It’s kind of asking someone connected to a life-support, “How are you doing?”

At any rate, one time I asked a friend who is married to a fairly overweight guy how they do it. Without skipping a beat she said, “I stay on top.” Wryly, I said, “I thought so. You would have been squeezed to death if it was the other way around.”

But sex and obesity is not just about who stays on top or what positions make the copulation as natural as “nuts and bolts” thing; or satisfying, not aggravating.

Obese men and women do have issues that greatly affect their sexuality. These are generally grouped into:

1. Physical:

Sex is, first and foremost, a physical activity. It is a form of an exercise. And to go through the entire routine, and walk the extra mile if need be, one has to be physically fit.

If sex is a sport, it would require an athlete high on stamina, the strength for weights, the balance of a gymnast and suppleness of an acrobat.

Recent research shows that during sex, your body experiences physical changes equivalent to an intense workout. It gets your heart racing, muscles stretching, energy increasing and calories burning.

According to Healthcentral.com, having sex three times a week burns up calories equivalent to jogging about 1.4 miles – something an obese person can hardly do.

From my experience as a serve-and-volley player, a moderate sex is more physically demanding than a set of tennis doubles.

2. Medical:

According to a French study (webmd.boots.com), obese women are four times more likely to have unplanned pregnancies than women of normal weight, this despite the fact that they are less sexually active than their sexier counterparts.

Obese men, on the other hand, are more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction and develop sexually transmitted infections compared to men of normal weights. They are also found to have fewer sexual partners in a 1-year period.

Both genders are also likely to be taking drugs for medical illnesses that further diminish their appetite for sex.

3. Psychological:

Would you want to watch the parade if you know it will rain?

Being obese is a psychological burden. It lowers a person’s self-esteem resulting to feelings of shame.

Desire is driven by the mind. If your mind is already burdened by feelings of inadequacy due to physical and medical reasons, what is there to fuel your desire?

In a study of obese men and women, more than 50% had decreased drive and trouble wanting sex, 40% had sex performance problems while the rest avoided sex altogether.

Statistics show that more than 61% of the adult population in the U.S. are either overweight or obese. Majority of them are constantly battling medical issues like diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, lower back pains, sleep disorders and many others.

By any standard, that’s a lot of people who have sung their swan song for sex.

I write about life, happiness, health, relationship and sex taken from my experiences in life

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